|
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
 |
 |
|
Vee Jay sent us a big jumbled up useless collection of quotes. We threw out most of the ones we didn't like. Then we threw out all the ones we couldn't understand. This is all that was left. For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of
thing they like. "When I get a little money I buy books and if any is left I
buy food and clothes." It's better to laugh with the sinners than cry with the
saints. There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut
butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex. There may be only two truly infinite things, the universe
and stupidity. And I am unsure about the universe. Friends...they cherish one another's hopes. They are kind to
one another's dreams. "Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition
of this is the beginning of wisdom." "We have all heard that a million monkeys banging on a
million typewriters will eventually reproduce "You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of
art to see your soul." Iron rusts from disuse, stagnant water loses its purity, and
in cold weather becomes frozen, even so does inaction sap the vigor of the
mind. Organic chemistry is the study of carbon compounds.
Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the
wisdom that is in it, and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on
a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is
well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
"Your friends may love you in private but your enemies will
hate you in public." All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and
then success is sure. "When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries
disappear and life stands explained." Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority,
it is time to reform. "The easiest way to overcome a woman's virtue is to assume
it is not there in the first place." If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time. -- anonymous. "The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is
286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but
government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911."
It's not peace I want, not mere contentment. It's boundless
joy and ecstasy for me. Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give
him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
"Computers are useless. They can only give answers."
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last,
which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash
clothes on the last day of their life? "Getting a grasp on the Internet is like chasing a jello
rattlesnake in a room full of Wesson oil. It's a great deal of good clean fun,
but the snake is in no danger." "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he
himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the
abyss also gazes into you." If one person says it's a duck, he's crazy. If two people say it's a duck, it's a conspiracy. If three people say it's a duck, start looking for feathers on its butt. Let's say you have half a glass of arsenic? Now how would
the optimist see it? "Contrariwise", continued Tweedledee, "If it was so, it
might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. That's
logic." "`Begin at the beginning,' the King said, gravely, `and go
on till you come to the end: then stop.'" "Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women.
Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the
female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy
and should not be seen by the light of day. Men are turned on at the sight of a
naked woman's body. Most naked men elicit laughter from women."
"A mind is a terribe thing to confuse with an egg."
Happiness is like the bluebird of Maeterlinck: try to catch
it and it loses its colour. It's like trying to hold water in your hands. The
more you squeeze it the more it runs away. "I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all
nervous and give the wrong answers." A civilized society is one which tolerates eccentricity to
the point of doubtful sanity. When the game is over, the king and the pawn go into the
same box. No one can make you feel inferior without your
consent. There are two things to aim for in life: first, to get what
you want; and after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the
second. "There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD
and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence."
"Literary-minded men choose Hamlet because every man sees
himself as a disinherited monarch. Women choose Alice in Wonderland because
every woman sees herself as the only reasonable creature among crazy people who
think they are disinherited monarchs." "The essential point in science is not a complicated
mathematical formalism or a ritualized experimentation. Rather the heart of
science is a kind of shrewd honesty that springs from really wanting to know
what the hell is going on!" Gray's Law of Programming: "Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the
earth are never alone or weary of life." The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time,
somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people
over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
Early to bed and early to rise, and you'll meet very few of
the best people. "Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing
what's right." "We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well
dance." "I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I
liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it." "The information superhighway is a revolution that in years
to come will transcend newspapers, radio, and television as an information
source. Therefore, I think this is the time to put some restrictions on it."
"The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in
the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he
does at the top of a mountain or in the petals of a flower."
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins
to resemble a nail. The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that
heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" (I found it!) but "That's funny ..."
Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty
experiences go, it's one of the best. "Insofar as the laws of mathematics are certain, they do not
refer to reality; and insofar as they refer to reality, they are not
certain." Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of
marrying the whole girl. "Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation... the
other eight are unimportant." The great thing about being the only species that makes a
distinction between right and wrong is that we can make up the rules for
ourselves as we go along. Fame is proof that people are gullible.
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you;
but if you really make them think they'll hate you. It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have
imagined that virginity could be a virtue. "Go on writing plays, my boy. One of these days a London
producer will go into his office and say to his secretary, `Is there a play
from Shaw this morning?' and when she says `No,' he will say, `Well, then we'll
have to start on the rubbish.' And that's your chance, my boy."
"A man sits with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems
shorter than a minute. But tell that same man to sit on a hot stove for a
minute, it is longer than any hour. That's relativity."
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has
endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their
use. A sine curve goes off to infinity or at least the end of the
blackboard. First Law of Socio-Genetics: Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
"Gentlemen! You can't fight in here. This is the War Room."
QUIDQUID LATINE DICTUM SIT, PROFUNDUM VIDITUR: Time wasted you enjoy wasting, was not time wasted.
"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other
plans." "A room without books is a body without a soul"
"Those are our principles. If you don't like them, we have
others." |
|
|
 Nuff said.. |
 Shh, it’s a secret. |
|
|
  |