Vee Jay got a kick out of this little blurb which came out about July, 12 2002:

Speechifying in His Sleep
By Richard Cohen
" But if it was confidence Bush wanted to restore, he failed utterly. He spoke like a hostage with a gun to his head. Here was a man simply trying to get ahead of an issue, going through the prescribed political paces. The only confidence he instilled has to do with what will happen to his initiatives if the Democrats turn their backs for a second. They will be abandoned. It's not that the words were not there -- Bush has good speechwriters -- it's just that this time the ventriloquists were failed by the dummy. As it is, Bush didn't say much. Calling for longer jail terms for corporate thieves sounds good, but what will be its real effect? Would a CEO risk ripping off his company for five years in jail, but hesitate at 10? As for the additional $100 million Bush proposed for the Securities and Exchange Commission, it is not nearly enough. It is the same with the other measures. They have either been proposed by others or they are tepid, half-hearted attempts to appear as if something's being done."
washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A52712-2002Jul10.html

PRESIDENT ISSUES NEW GUIDELINES FOR CORPORATE ETHICS & RESPONSIBILITY TO HIS ARYAN WALL STREET BRETHREN

Statement by the President to the New York Stock Exchange

Today, much as it pains me to say it - I'm afraid we're going to have to dispense with our usual routine of swapping business cards, secret handshakes, and wives. Yes, today I'm here on behalf of the American people - at least the non-millionaire, non-ivy legacy, non-landed gentry American people who are always getting in the way of our rightful and deserved progress. Unfortunately, I need to keep those poor morons deluded and happy if our kind are to win the next election, and at present, they're plenty steamed over the way you boys have been conducting business lately. Now of course I would love to continue to turn a blind eye to business as usual, much as my daddy did for me over my Harken deal back in '90. But that's just no longer possible. With the collapse of big outfits like Encom and Worldron, it's now clear to even the little people that many of you have gone too far, and that if I don't at least give some empty lip service to reigning you in, there's not a snowball's chance in hell that they're ever going to let us privatize Social Security. And boys, that's the prize. Don't ever forget it. Keep your eyes on it. Because once we get our hands on that, we're golden. Forever. And as for all the old people who were too dumb and lazy to work hard and invest exclusively in sure things, well they can bunk in the low-rent nursing homes where they belong.

(Applause.)

And so today, in the interest of propagating the illusion that my entire legislative agenda isn't focused squarely on protecting the finances of the richest 1% of Americans, I want to announce the formation of a Corporate Fraud Task Force. This financial SWAT team, headed by the Assistant Vice Deputy Attorney General, will grab headlines for several days after this speech, thereby hopefully rendering my administration impervious to wholly accurate charges of flagrant corporate cronyism. So watch out, at least for a little while, because they're going to be on the lookout for a scapegoat to arrest, parade in front the cameras, convict, and lock up in a golf course prison for 14-16 months while this whole "dirty business" hoo-ha blows over once and for all. Got it? Get it? Good.

(Applause.)

Thank you, and God Bless.

See the full story at:
whitehouse.org/news/2002/070802.asp

PRESIDENT URGES ALL TRUE PATRIOTS TO SIGN PETITION TO REVOKE TOM CRUISE'S AMERICAN CITIZENSHIP

Statement by the President:
"Good morning. I'm going to be brief. Yesterday, Hollywood Scientologist and homosexual rights activist Tom Cruise maligned our perfect, infallible nation by openly expressing some negative thoughts to the foreign press. He said that the United States terrifies him, and that he wants his children to be brought up in Australia - a barren island of ex-cons, atheists, and kangaroo fetishists."
whitehouse.org/initiatives/deport_tom_cruise.asp

"THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. Yesterday afternoon, my advisor Andrew Card informed me of a ruling by the Federal 9th Circuit Court of Appeals which would eliminate the Pledge from public schools. Initially confused, I told him, "So let them use another furniture polish." It was only then that he explained to me that the court had in fact barred pledges of allegiance. Well that's when I got mad."
whitehouse.org/news/2002/062702.asp